April 16th, 2023 | 3am

I wanna keep this brief because I really need to get to bed.

Today I met with David, the guy I originally thought would be our bassist, but it turns out he’s pretty good on drums. So he’s the new drummer, pretty chill dude. I’ve also got a few leads on bassists, but we’ll see.

We worked on “Appendage Chop”, never had so much fun. It was great. Put me in a great mood. I relapsed on (redacted) yesterday. I think being depressed just put me in a place bad enough to, but now I feel great.

I don’t want to (redacted) anymore, I just wanna play guitar. I also feel more motivated to be productive. It seems that being happy with my life by any measure make me more productive. Maybe the other way around too. Seems obvious now, but it’s so easy to get caught up in everything.

The girl situation’s starting to weigh on me, so is everything else though, by so much too. I think I will take the out I may have for this semester. Just deal with shit, then come back. But I don’t know. It’s a lot of credits and money, plus stuffs happening. But then again, it’s too close and my GPA can't take a hit without me getting the boot from campus. Plus the fall still haunts me here in almost every way. Again, I don’t know. We shall see.

I’m grateful for…

My family.

My love for art

The things that make me smile 

-good art

-love (of all kinds)

-friends

-etc.

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Some entries have been censored and edited out of respect for both my, and others personal lives as well as for clarity. These are all true journal entries, starting from when I was given the journal in a rehabilitation hospital, none of which will be released to the public until weeks or months after being written. At any given point, they may be taken down for a plethora of reasons.