April 17th, 2023 | 1:23am

I’m not okay, but I want to be. I wish I was high so existing was easier today. Nothing happened, just my mind torturing me. I was recently able to dig up some repressed stuff… I was raped when I was 19. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it ever since remembering. I just find myself staring off into the past, reliving it over and over. As if the event didn’t go on long enough itself… ugh. Sometimes I just stare off into nothingness, phasing out a little bit. If death was sleep, then I would describe it as feeling like microsleep.

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Some entries have been censored and edited out of respect for both my, and others personal lives as well as for clarity. These are all true journal entries, starting from when I was given the journal in a rehabilitation hospital, none of which will be released to the public until weeks or months after being written. At any given point, they may be taken down for a plethora of reasons.