Undated Entry 7

Rain. It’s raining again and everything just looks like doom and gloom. Nothing feels real anymore, for long stretches of time I feel like I’m having some kind of nightmare. There’s a few moments here and there that I forget about everything that happened and find myself smiling, but the feeling’s always lingering in the background somewhere. It’s those moments though, that I feel awake and alive. I recently went to get my leg looked at for my knee pain in the clinic. It’s something I have to go see a specialist for apparently. So I guess I’ll be limping around a while longer.

Anyway, I was starving afterward. So I hobbled over to burgers and fries for either lunch or dinner… I forget. I’m starting to feel hungry. But yeah, um, so I go for the way in that didn’t require stairs but I notice Jane by the entrance talking to someone, so I suck it up and take the steps… quickly.

I get into the place knowing she’s not likely to see me there since she doesn’t eat meat. But the place is crowded, though I’m able to make my way over to the counter to make my order. There’s a girl there who I notice look at me as I turn around. I look at her and she quickly looks away, pretending she wasn’t looking. I walk past her to go pay for my order. I go back, hand it off to the cooks, and wait. Conveniently placing myself next to her. 

I don’t feel like doing this anymore… I’ll come back to it when I feel better… maybe. (After a lot of flirting and connecting, I found out she was Jane’s roommate. I got her number but we only texted a few times until that night, around the time I’m guessing Jane came home).

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Some entries have been censored and edited out of respect for both my, and others personal lives as well as for clarity. These are all true journal entries, starting from when I was given the journal in a rehabilitation hospital, none of which will be released to the public until weeks or months after being written. At any given point, they may be taken down for a plethora of reasons.